Can women be casket bearers?

Yes, women can be. Grandchildren can be. Anyone you designate can be a casket bearer. What’s cool is it involves the family. Even though it’s very difficult emotionally for people to carry their grandpa or their father, or whomever, to the grave it’s also something they can do that nobody else can do for them. I like to relate it to your father carried you, your mother carried you, and you have the opportunity to carry them this last time.

Once you explain that to families, they fight over who can do it. Who is going to get to do it, and you don’t have to have to limit it to just six people. When my grandparents died, all 12 of the grandchildren carried our grandparents to the grave. We were tripping over each other! We were cursing each other because our feet were too big and we were walking on each other, but none of us would have traded it for the world. My dad and my two uncles were in tears watching us carry our grandpa and grandma to the grave.

My son Adam was only four when grandma died. Since I was the funeral director he was tagging along, holding on to me, as I was carrying grandma’s casket. It reminds you of the John F. Kennedy picture where Jacqueline was holding the kids hands and they are holding each other. It’s one of those moments. It was cool.