Obituary of Dorothy Lucille Doehrmann

Dorothy L. Doehrmann, 86 of Iowa City died Friday, August 28, 2020 at her home. A grave side service was held on Monday, August 31st with immediate family. Chris Doehrmann, her son, shared her faith story as a remembrance. In lieu of flowers, memorial donations can be made to Iowa City Hospice whose services were greatly appreciated during the last year of her life. Dorothy Lucille (Spenler) Doehrmann was born September 20, 1933, in Cairo, Nebraska, the daughter of Christian and Anna (Bellar) Spenler. Dorothy came to know Jesus at a tent revival meeting where she answered a call to submit her life to Him and was baptized in the river. She met Earl roller-skating and they married on September 7, 1956 at St. Paul’s Chapel in Iowa City. Once Earl and Dorothy started having children, Dorothy worked nights at a local bakery making pies and pastries. Dorothy then combined her sewing talents and desire to be home with her children into a business creating draperies in her basement. Dorothy spent 10 years working for the University of Iowa before retiring and then enjoyed visiting her children and grandchildren with Earl by her side. Dorothy was an active member of Our Redeemer Lutheran Church where she enjoyed singing in the choir with Earl. She and Earl enjoyed playing Bridge with church friends, and 500 and Pepper with the Doehrmann family. They passed that card playing tradition on to their children and grandchildren. To know Dorothy was to know a kind, gentle, soft spoken, generous woman who loved her children and would do anything for them. Dorothy’s family included: her husband of fifty years, Earl, their children Sherry Westhoff and her husband Paul of Kenosha, WI, Chris Doehrmann and his wife Julie of New Brighton, MN, and Nancy Doehrmann of Iowa City, IA. Her grandchildren included: Paul Andrew Westhoff, Olivia Westhoff, Luke Westhoff, Jessica (Doehrmann) Myers and her husband Phil, Cassie (Doehrmann) Wallin and her husband Bryan, Adam Doehrmann and his wife Jenn, and Alaina Doehrmann. She also leaves behind her lifelong friend and sister-in-law Anita Spenler and many of Earl’s siblings and their spouses. Dorothy was preceded in death by her parents, her husband Earl, her brothers Norman, Roy, Vernon, and Lenard Spenler and her sisters Helen Spenler and Idella (Spenler) Stahl. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- To Mom’s family and friends, I am so sorry that you were not able to celebrate my mom’s life with us and instead you can only read this letter, the notes of what I said at her graveside, and these few memories of mom that we are sharing. I wanted to celebrate mom with you all and grieve her loss together, but that was not possible for a number of reasons. However, know that I feel the same emptiness that you do. Since everything shutdown, in March, I have only been able to see my mom a few times mostly when there was an emergency that needed to be taken care of and once from the other side of a door. Each time I could see mom disappear a little more. It broke my heart each time I left when she would ask me if I had to go already, knowing that I couldn’t come back unless something serious happened again. Now I thank God for those emergencies, because without them my mom would have disappeared completely from my life without seeing her again on this earth. That, however, is how it was for my children. They wanted to come and see their grandma, to sit with her and tell her how much they loved her, but they couldn’t. They talked to her on the phone a bit and on video with Zoom, but mom had a hard time following conversations unless you were physically there. What really mattered most to mom was your presence with her. That is what my mom missed the last 6 months of her life, the presence of her family. All of you and all of us being with her. Your family, and our families were what made life worth living for my mom. In the end I believe she just decided it was not worth the effort to continue to live in her declining body with her failing memory any more without her family. Instead she decided to go to Jesus and to all of those she loves that are already with Him. My mom died in the afternoon on Friday August 28th. Every time I had spoken to her before then I always made sure to tell her how much I loved her, my family loved her, and that she was a great mom. So nothing was left unsaid when it was her time. I was able to be at her side before she died and I am thankful for that. However, because of the circumstances, I have not been able to grieve. It feels like my mom was taken from me 6 months ago, so I am not sure if I will ever be able to really let out the feelings I have locked inside. I imagine I share that with all of you, because there was no funeral. Mom was the sweetest person I ever knew and she was a great mom for a boy who seemed a little slow and preoccupied in school and who was prone to daydream and forget what little he was told to do. She was not perfect and, of course, none of us are. It would have been good if she would have made us kids do more chores, like dad wanted us to, but she did not want us to grow up working as hard as she did because she loved us. She loved her family, she worked nights baking pies when we were little so she could be with us kids during the day when dad went to work. Then she made draperies in the basement (her dungeon as she called it) again working all hours to help make ends meet and still be with us during the day. Even when we were in school and she talked about getting a job, she decided to stay at home and continued to make drapes because we did not want her to be away. “What if we need you for something?” That was our argument. I guess what I have realized through this is, when you are a believer, there is more to living than just being alive. I believe that mom is more alive today than she has been for the last 6 months. She is with her Savior, my dad, and all those in her family that were believers and have already gone to be with Jesus. My encouragement to all of you is to make the most of every moment because you do not know when your last day on the earth will be, to live until you die, and to make your eternal life a certainty by placing faith in Jesus for the forgiveness of your sins. None of us deserves it because it is a gift, but the gift must be received. The beauty of this gift from Jesus is that we get to be family forever, not just until we physically die. Thanks, Chris Doehrmann ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Graveside Talk: I must start by saying burying my mom with just three of us here is a little strange. It is also strange to be asked to give a talk in these circumstances because typically these talks are not for the dead they are for the living. Mom knew how much we all loved her so I know that what I say today is only for us here and for those we share the video with. Growing up we didn’t talk about faith much. That is what going to church was for. When my Dad was diagnosed with cancer 14 years ago it changed that for him and me. A big part of my talk about my Dad at his funeral was our discussions about his faith in Jesus and that he knew he would be with Jesus in heaven when he died. That happened only about 6 months later and we have all missed him very much since. So what is the most important thing about Mom I can share at this time? I would like you to know how my mom came to Christ. I didn’t find out myself until after my Dad died so I would guess not many of you would know. I don’t know a lot of the details but I will share what I do know. After my Dad died we would sometimes take mom with us to Parkview Church when we were visiting in Iowa City. One time after the sermon something prompted us to ask her about her faith before she married Dad and became a Lutheran. She told us that before she met dad she went to a tent revival meeting where they were preaching the gospel of Jesus Christ. Mom responded to the call to give her life to Jesus, and was baptized in a lake or a river. I can’t remember which. From that conversation we knew that she was assured of her salvation in Jesus. John 5:19-29 says 19 Jesus gave them this answer: “Very truly I tell you, the Son can do nothing by himself; he can do only what he sees his Father doing, because whatever the Father does the Son also does. 20 For the Father loves the Son and shows him all he does. Yes, and he will show him even greater works than these, so that you will be amazed. 21 For just as the Father raises the dead and gives them life, even so the Son gives life to whom he is pleased to give it. 22 Moreover, the Father judges no one, but has entrusted all judgment to the Son, 23 that all may honor the Son just as they honor the Father. Whoever does not honor the Son does not honor the Father, who sent him. 24 “Very truly I tell you, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life and will not be judged but has crossed over from death to life. 25 Very truly I tell you, a time is coming and has now come when the dead will hear the voice of the Son of God and those who hear will live. 26 For as the Father has life in himself, so he has granted the Son also to have life in himself. 27 And he has given him authority to judge because he is the Son of Man.28 “Do not be amazed at this, for a time is coming when all who are in their graves will hear his voice 29 and come out—those who have done what is good will rise to live, and those who have done what is evil will rise to be condemned. So placing her faith in Jesus is the most important thing my Mom ever did because it has both current and eternal consequences. Her body may be ready to go into the grave but her spirit is alive and with Jesus. In verse 24 it says she crossed over from death to life way back when she gave her life to Christ. But that reality is also carried forward to Friday when she physically died and into the future when she will be raised to physically live again as stated in verse 29. Those are all encouraging words to everyone. However, there are some words of warning as well in verse 29. Those who have done evil and rejected the gift of eternal life though Jesus will be raised to be condemned. This warning is given because God does not want anyone to perish. So it is good at times like these to consider that if you want to be in heaven with Mom & Dad and to be raised to life again someday with them you need to receive the free gift of Jesus life for the forgives of your sins. Take these other words of Jesus to heart from John 14:6. “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” The most important thing you can do in this life is to place your faith in Jesus alone. Not in your religion, your church, your good works or good thoughts, in Christ alone. That is the most important thing I can share about my Mom’s life and the only thing in her life that is eternal. Let’s Pray, Jesus We are thankful for the blessing mom was to us and the life she had. We thank you that Nancy could care for Mom and that she could remain in her home until the end. We are thankful that her journey to heaven was peaceful and quick. Father we thank you for our parents and we rejoice that through salvation in your Son we will see them again. Amen Favorite Memories of Mom: Julie Doehrmann Earl and Dorothy always made me feel that I was a part of their immediate family. They never excluded me and loved me like their own. I have a very special memories of Dorothy, a few that I would like to share with you. We all have experienced the joy of biting into one of Dorothy’s famous cinnamon rolls, slightly warmed with frosting drizzling down the sides. Our whole family loved Dorothy’s rolls and she would always make an extra batch for us to take home every time we visited. Chris and the kids begged me to learn how to make Grandma’s rolls. I, being a relatively good cook, but a terrible baker agreed to submit myself to the tutelage of the master. I asked Dorothy if she had a recipe, but the only recipe was the experience that she had for the feel of the dough. She patiently walked me through each step and I feverishly wrote down her instructions. But the translation from “use a handful of flour” to cups and a “sprinkle of cinnamon” to teaspoons was not quite exact. When we made it through the measurements and combined the ingredients I thought I had made it through the tough part of the process. However, she explained, “knead the dough until it feels like this”. How could can you take a life time of experience and distill it into a “handful”, a “sprinkle”, and “it feels like this”? Feeling totally incapable of every being able to copy her recipe, she offered words of encouragement and told me that I would find my way through it. She never made me feel inadequate, although in terms of my baking capabilities, I still am. She was so patient and kind and never had anything negative to say. She taught me so much about what it meant to be a good mother-in-law, for she was the best, and I hope that I can follow in her footsteps. Dorothy was visiting us some time after Earl died and we went with us to watch Alaina play soccer. As we were finding a seat in the stands, Dorothy fell and broke her wrist. We decided that she should stay with us until she was done with her doctor visits in Minnesota and was ready to start rehab. Her fall and breaking her wrist were not favorite memories, but the time we had with her in Minnesota for that extended stay was so special. There were many things that she needed help with and she and I worked together to figure out how to get those things done. It really isn’t something you think about when you marry that you might one day be giving your mother-in-law a bath, but it was a very special time for the two of us that I will cherish. I was able to love on her the way she had loved on Chris, on me, and on my children all those years. The last time Chris was able to sit with Dorothy and have a conversation with him, he shared with me that his mom said that he had such a wonderful family, speaking of our children. His response was that it wouldn’t have been so without her, that she started it all. That is so true. The love she poured out on her son helped form him, with the grace of God, into the man that he became, the husband I cherish, and the amazing father devoted to our children. Thank you Dorothy for all you did for your family and mine. We will cherish your memory and the family you started through your son. I will miss you. Favorite Memories of Grandma Jessica Myers, Cassie Wallin, and Alaina Doehrmann Growing up, we were always so excited to go to Grandma’s house. Our visits were filled with the most delicious sugary homemade rolls. Grandma spent hours making them from scratch before every visit. She always made extra too so we could bring some home with us when we left. I remember splitting the last roll 4 ways just so each of us kids could have a little bit to tide us over until our next visit. Whenever we were with Grandma, we played lots of cards: Tic, Spite and Malice, and Hand and Foot to name a few of the games we played. She was a fun person to play cards with because she didn’t have a poker face at all. We knew right away if she was pleased or sorely disappointed with the card she drew. She kept us on our toes though, because sometimes she didn’t realize she had the card that would give her the winning hand until the last minute. Then it was a surprise to both her and us that she won! We would call her our “sneaky little Grandma” for those sneak attack wins. Grandma spent a lot of time cooking for us whenever she visited. Her staples were pot roast with potatoes and lima beans (for my dad) and beef stew. I (Jessica) still haven’t had a beef stew that was as good as hers! She always tried to warn us before we started eating dinner that the meat was a little dry or the potatoes weren’t fluffy enough. She was always her hardest critic, but we always thought her food was delicious. A couple summers ago, my husband and I (Jessica) were in Iowa visiting his family and decided to go to my Grandma’s for a surprise visit. Alaina was living at Grandma’s for the summer, so she knew that we were coming but my Grandma didn’t. Grandma was so surprised and excited to see us! She kept asking if we really came to see her. We assured her many times that we did come just to see her and were even staying the night until she believed us. We had Panera for dinner, Grandma’s go to when she didn’t want to cook, Dairy Queen ice cream for dessert, her favorite, talked about life in Arizona and about her favorite tennis player that she had been watching all summer. She sent us off the next morning with breakfast and some gas money in true Grandma fashion. I (Cassie) remember the Christmas after Grandpa died, we were all sitting at home and decided to take a spontaneous trip down to Iowa to surprise Grandma for Christmas. She didn’t know we were coming, and we drove down through the snow to spend the holiday with her. On the drive down, we rewrote the lyrics for “To Grandmother’s House We Go” to better match the situation we were in. One line I recall was “Over the border and through the snow, to grandmother’s house we go. We drove through a storm, but the van kept us warm, when the temperature was so low”. There were several additional silly verses, but I (Cassie) can’t remember what they were. When we arrived at Grandma’s house, we knocked on the door and when she answered we proceeded to sing to her the carols we had written. She was so surprised that we were there. The smile on her face that night was well worth the 5 hour drive. Last year, my husband and I (Cassie) went down to visit Grandma as we hadn’t seen here in a little while. And although Grandma didn’t want to play cards because she couldn’t remember the rules anymore, she wanted to watch while we played. We played for a bit and then went and picked up dinner from a local Mexican restaurant. Grandma assured us that she didn’t need any food as she had already had something small to eat. Bryan and I (Cassie) picked up a combo which ended up being a huge amount of food, and it’s a good thing we did as Grandma became very interested when we brought all that food back. I (Cassie) asked if she wanted to have and enchilada and with a raised brow she said “I think I might have just a little of that”. She had part of the chicken and cheese enchilada and it was such a blessing to share that meal with her. There is truly nothing better than sharing time and food with people you love, and I will be forever grateful that I had that with my Grandma. Adam & Jenn Doehrmann I remember the first time Adam invited me over for dinner with his family. Knowing how close they all were, I was terrified. What do they know about me, what should I wear, how should I act? At this point, I had known for months I wanted to marry this man. But I wasn’t about to tell him that, let alone his whole family. Perhaps I wouldn’t have come to dinner if I knew what I was about to face. When any of the Doehrmann children brought someone home to meet the family, interrogation was inevitable. Apparently, it’s fun (okay, it’s actually awesome and something we will do with our kids) to go around the dinner table and let everyone ask the newcomer whatever question comes to mind. The questions started and I felt I answered them well. Adam’s little sis asked me my favorite food. Easy, spaghetti. His mom asked why I wanted to be a Nurse...an easier answer...to love on people every day. I suddenly felt ready for whatever question came next. Until Grandma Dorothy asks..."What are your intentions?” I, in all my shyness, froze, my future father-in-law (Chris) cracked a joke, and I slid past the question as everyone laughed. Sometimes, I still wish I had told her that my intentions were to marry her Grandson and create a life of love together. To continue her legacy. We still laugh about it, mostly because I remember how nervous and uncomfortable I was. But then I begin to reminisce. I long to cook the things that she cooked for Adam, the cinnamon rolls and lima beans, because that is home to him. I think of her every day on my drive to work. Because that meal with his family was such a pivotal moment in my life, I still remember the look on her face when she asked me what my intentions were with her grandson. To this day, I’m still convinced she asked that question in all sincerity. It’s a question I admire, I’ll carry with me, and I’ll intentionally ask someday...because of her. I’m glad she was there to see us say “I do” and I know we will be honoring her when we are (God willing) 80 years old and fulfilling the promises we made to each other with her as a front row witness. We love you Grandma, give Jesus a big hug for us. Alaina Doehrmann